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Sleep issues

My son is 4 and we are constantly fighting him to sleep in his own bed. We have never been a cosleeping family, but at about age 2 (big boy bed age) he started coming to our bed to sleep. Its not every night, but it is most nights. I've tried laying w/ him in his bed, letting him lay in mine. And it's not a certian time that he comes either. Some nights he just won't go to sleep in his bed, other nights he doesn't come in until early morning (2 or 3am) and some nights not at all. We have night lights so he won't be scared of the dark. I'm just at my wits end, neither my husband nor I get a good nights sleep b/c my son is a bed hog, so most nights I go to his bed or the couch. The other issue is that If my husband is on call and his phone rings in the middle of the night it wakes my son up (sometimes) same goes for the 4am alarm clock. The worst part is I love cuddling w/ him in my bed, so everytime he gets up he says something like " I just wanna love on mommy" How do I say no to that?!


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goodnite_gracee
Aug. 15th, 2008 02:41 am (UTC)
I'm not putting myself out there as an expert because Steven (now 9) didn't end up in our bed too often. Usually only after a really bad nightmare or if he wasn't feeling well - and then he's a bed hog too!

But I think the idea is to not say "no" to the love, but control how you say "yes".

We always stayed with Steven until he fell asleep at night. My sister said I was spoiling him - and maybe we were. But we both work and it was quiet alone time that we don't have anytime else. My husband and I "trade" nights. One night I get Steven ready, bath, pajamas etc and Jim gets to read and stay with him. The next night we reverse.

Last year, we decided that Steven needed to learn to fall asleep by himself. So we still do the reading but the staying after lights out is limited to 10 minutes. And we're flexible. If he's been stressed, sick or scared we stay longer and let him know that we will ALWAYS be there when he needs us or asks. But most nights we say goodnight at 10 minutes and it works.

You may want to try taking him back to his bed and staying till he falls asleep. Its not going to be good for your sleep cycle, but you and your husband can "trade" nights. Once you develop a pattern, it should get easier. Patterns are often the key.

Just a suggestion. I hope it works...
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